Always In A Relationship? Here’s Why You Need A Year Off

 

Despite what popular culture would have us believe, relationships aren’t necessary. Yeah having a boyfriend is cool, but nothing bad is going to happen to you if you just stay single for a bit.

I’ve hopped from relationship to relationship. I’ve never been fussed by breakups because I knew I’d only be single a few weeks. It’s horrible really, but I know a lot of people still do it and i’m proud to say that that isn’t me anymore.

For me, leaving a relationship always felt like waking from a coma, nothing in my life was any different at the other end apart from a person being missing. So, I decided to keep myself single for a whole year and heres what happened…

  1. I got stronger. I’ve always been the type of girl to see a problem and then start crying straight away or work myself up into a state of worry. I always hated being weak like that so this year i’ve really worked on it. I taught myself to step back when faced with a problem, take a deep breath and think about the way people I admire would approach that situation. I’m not half the cry baby I was a year ago.
  2. I cured my anxiety In my previous relationship I suffered extreme anxiety and panic attacks. I couldn’t understand it. I had my own place, a new boyfriend, I loved my job. I thought I was happy. Everything seemed perfect yet I would wake up in the night shaking and sweating. All my friends knew it was the stress of my relationship and tried to tell me but I shrugged it off for months. I was in denial. Can you believe since being single I haven’t had a single panic attack? Not one since the day we split.
  3. I’ve accomplished goals. I wrote a book, something that most people dream of being able to say. I did it 6 months into being single and it’s because I had nobody interfering with my goals. I’m now training for a marathon and have created a side business for myself. I would never have done any of those things if I were still in a relationship.
  4. I learnt to love being by myself. I love being with my thoughts, It’s when my creativity sparks and I can reflect on all kinds of things that are only growing me everyday.
  5. I’ve learnt more about Hollie. And honestly, I think i’ve been underestimating her… I’ve always just relied on other people to do stuff for me and this year everything has been on me. It’s sometimes stressful but mostly liberating and I can handle it. Crap knows how long these capabilities have been lying dormant inside of me but now I know myself I find it easier to understand other people too.
  6. I appreciate my friends more. I lost a lot of friends due to relationships, that’s something I swear I will never do again. This year I learnt to appreciate who they are and what they do for me, I never take the time I spend with them for granted and i’m thankful I have them in my life.
  7. I’m drama free When i hear about other peoples issues I can smile to myself knowing I don’t have to deal with that stuff anymore. By watching other people mess up I can take mental notes of things to avoid in future relationships too.
  8. I’m figuring out what I want. When i was in a relationship I put a lot of my wants to the side for a while because of how it would of affected that person. There’s nothing wrong with that but it’s been really good for me this year to learn what I want out of life.
  9. I have more to offer. But there’s a catch… I know exactly what i’m looking for now and he’s not going to be easy to find. I love my life so much, i’m scared that if i let somebody in they might ruin what i’ve built for myself. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I’m looking for a best friend, someone to teach me cool stuff, laugh til i’m crying, someone who i’m ridiculously attracted to. If he comes along thats great, if not then i’ll take another year. I’ll take ten. I need to be sure they are worth the risk when I have so much at stake.

When you’re single and remain patient with it, all you are doing is growing yourself further and thats something to be proud of because a lot of people can’t endure it. That’s why they end up settling.You know the kind of people that settle? The ones who think they are running out of time to find something real.

Don’t be like them.

Keep Slaying,

Holliver

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