Believe it or not, boys are actually the main reason I started researching about the capsule life. Tinder Tossers, Greygoose Gobshites, DM dickheads… They were wasting my time, draining me lifeless and actually stressing me out.
6 months ago I realised that I had better things to do than hang around guys who ‘neg’ like they are still on the playground pulling pigtails.
So I did my first ever fuck boy clear out…
Don’t get me wrong I love going on dates, dressing up, flirting and going for dinner and cocktails – it’s unreal, but after date 3 I find myself wondering what else I could be doing with my free time that’s actually going to benefit me.
It could be something as small as just wanting to finish a book I bought or spend the day at the gym. Other times I just feel bad that i’m on a date when I could be selling things on my Depop to help me save for a car or go on a girly holiday next summer.
So one day I came off all the dating apps, blocked all the guys who I only talk to when i’m bored and ghosted all the other ones I was seeing at the time.
Literally within a day I felt so much better. The fact that I had no plans to stick to was the biggest bonus, just knowing I could get all the stuff done that I need doing on the weekend and not have to rush to get ready for a guy is amazing.
Experiencing a proper nights sleep after not sending messages back and forth til midnight every night meant I had better moods, produced better work and didn’t have to rely on coffee all day. People at work even noticed the change in my mood. It’s scary to think that a guy was draining me to the point I’d been coming across as abrupt and moody to those who I care about the most.
Even just the small things like getting my routine back on track, having my meal prep done, gym days set and all the other errands for the week scheduled in without having to spare a single thought for a boy is just the best feeling.
For those of you who don’t see my logic and feel that a mans stamp of approval is the end game, then guess what?… you probably shouldn’t date either.
Even if you are ridiculously bored you should never date just because of that.
You’ll only end up missing out on somebody that is actually right for you because you are settling for a loser out of boredom.
Find a hobby, set goals or just spend time with yourself doing things that make you happy as this will mould you into becoming a better person in the long run.
All this being said, I know i’ll change my mind one day… This is how i feel right now but a part of me wonders if it’s because I just haven’t met the right guy yet. I guess for now I just mean I haven’t met anybody who is worth the sacrifice. Also… i’m 26 so maybe this is my selfish phase? Whatever the case I know by the time this all shifts he’ll find me and get to meet the best possible version of myself.